Dating tips after getting out of a serious relationship

After being in a serious relationship , the thought of being alone can be quite troubling.  Also if you were not wanting the relationship to end, you may have trust issues.  You may feel vulnerable and scared about being alone for the first time in many years. As a Professional Matchmaker , I counsel singles every day on how to increase their chances of finding love again after ending a serious relationship.

Its time to make a plan of action to reboot your love life.  Just like in business you write up a business plan, the same can be done in your love life.

Here are my top ‘dating deliverables” on how to find the next love of your life.

1. Increase your datability quotient. Make a list of what you like about yourself, identify your strengths and what you have to offer someone. Ask friends and family what they think your best attributes are.  Because they know you and your desires, your loved ones will likely beat out most online dating algorithms in making good matches

2 Re-tool  your first impression.  As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression.   Go through your closet and put together date outfits to make sure you look your best.  Hire a personal shopper to select flattering outfits that will catch people’s eyes.

3. Wite a business plan for finding love.

• What are your objectives? To find a mate.
• What are your goals? To get healthier, develop a higher self esteem.
• What are your strategies? Perhaps you need to hire a personal trainer, get therapy.
• What are your tactics? Join some singles groups, take classes, try new things, be more accessible

4. Network, Network, Network: Just as people find jobs through networking, a great way to find a good personal match is through friends and friends of friends.  Reconnect with your single friends who likely have a wealth of knowledge that can help you get exposed to other singles. Connecting with people in your same situation will create opportunities to meet new people.

Getting back in the dating saddle can feel awkward and intimidating after spending years in a serious relationship. You may have been out of the loop for a while but with a little preparation and patience, you’ll be ready to jump right back into the dating pool before you know it.

Julia is the founder and CEO of Something More, Austin’s premier matchmaking service. She is Austin’s only Certified Matchmaker and has been finding love for Austin singles since 2009. She’s been featured in both local and national press, including Tyra Banks’ Typepad F.