Austin Matchmaker

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No fireworks on a first date?

No fireworks on a first date doesn’t mean that attraction can’t develop over time. It is impossible to know someone well enough in just a few hours. While chemistry is important, feeling love (or lust) at first sight isn’t a realistic gauge of a relationship’s success, Not feeling those love-dovey sparks on the very first date shouldn’t be a total deal breaker.

Fireworks on a first date is like a sparkler. You light it. It is bright, pretty and exciting while it lasts, but the intensity is over before you know it.

The thing is, when you have an incredible first date, the sparks flying blind you. You should not love a person within a few hours of meeting them. You don’t know them. So if you find yourself in love so quickly, odds are you like the idea of the other person, or if you’re me, you find them so attractive you tend to overlook everything else about their personality

The basis of a lasting, satisfying relationship is a solid friendship and common values. This takes time to discover. It is better to let a relationship to evolve naturally without expectations. As that foundation is strengthened, the fireworks you seek won’t be far behind. And this time it will last a lot longer than a sparkler!

You never know what the second date will bring, because as nice as it is to feel those sparks right away, they aren’t always necessarily proof of compatibility. Fireworks on  a first date doesn’t mean you are in love.

That, in a nutshell, is why a good-enough first date is worth a second go around. Without the infatuation that comes after an incredible first date, you’re able to set realistic expectations for what the future will hold. Over time, you’ll get to see — and perhaps slowly fall in love with — who someone really is instead of the person you simply want them to be.