There are reasons that it’s good to be single on Valentines day. There are 364 days in a year when its okay to be single. But the Valentines Day marketing machine and the quest for social acceptance can make “Singles Awareness Day” dreary or even cruel if you’re alone whether by choice or circumstance. It feels like you are on this other planet where if you aren’t happily coupled up you are treated like an alien or like you have a terminal illness. Well meaning friends try to reassure you that there is someone out there waiting for you, you’ll meet someone when you least expect it, or my favorite, you are just too picky.
If you think about it, Valentines Day is a dumb thing that happens to us every year against our will. There are plenty of reasons its good to be single on the biggest hallmark holiday of the year.
Here’s some advice on how to find the positives in being single regardless of what day of the year it is:
- You only have to worry about yourself
Instead of feeling down about your single status, flip it in your head and tell yourself, “I’m single because I’m waiting for a good relationship, and won’t settle for anything less.” When you make positive statements, you feel a greater sense of control over your life and feel happier and proud as a result. Don’t just be confident about your single status — be a little cocky! Ask any unhappily married person, you can feel way more alone in a bad relationship than you can when you are actually alone.
2. It’s an excuse to show gratitude
Show those you love or those who have been extra supportive and show them just how much you appreciate and love them. How about paying it forward when you’re in line at Starbucks. Or leaving a box of chocolates in the mail box for the mail man. How about bringing flowers to your loyal admin at work? How about sending flowers to your mom, sister or grandmother? Giving something to those that you love will make you feel amazing. And I recommend saying Happy Valentines Day to everyone who crosses your path that day. There are plenty of people who get depressed on this day so why not try to brighten there’s too?
3. It’s a great day to meet other singles!
Find out what’s happening in the local singles scene. A number of bars hold singles parties that will give you the chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don’t take your love expectations though, this isn’t about falling for anyone out of loneliness! If you don’t feel like heading to a bar, throw a party at home. Start planning early and decide whether you want to host a party for both single men and women, or just have “girls’ night in” with your closest single girlfriends.
4. You can spend that money on yourself!
Being in a relationship on Valentines Day can be expensive! Flowers, dinners, a new outfit, not to mention a gift, can all add up. Now you can take that money and spend it anyway you want to whether its a spa day, some new date outfits, more money to add to your vacation fund, a new big screen TV, whatever’s on your wish list!
5 You’re in Charge
Most importantly, being single on Valentines Day means that you are the only one in charge of your plans. You can watch whatever movie you want, you can cry all night, you can eat 12 bags of chocolate—it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to check in with anyone, and you certainly don’t need to tailor your plans to the needs of another person.
When did being single become such an all-encompassing fear?
There are far greater things to fear in life than not being in a relationship, or having a date on Valentines Day. I would argue that it is more pleasurable and beneficial to be in a healthy relationship with yourself than to be in an unhealthy relationship with someone else, especially one that is based on an intrinsic fear of being single and perceived as unloved. Single people, show your friends that being single can be wonderful, even on romantically-charged Valentines Day.