Austin Matchmaker


Why Second Dates Matter More Than First Dates

Why second dates matter more than first dates is because first dates create so much anticipation and pressure. What if it goes really well and this person turns out to be “the one”? Or what if it goes really badly and they turn out to be a total nightmare? But really, fret not, because what you probably should be anticipating is that neither of these scenarios plays out, because honestly, most first dates fall somewhere in the middle.

If you never see that person gain,  then it’s time to turn that around ASAP and start going  out with them. If you go on more future dates, whether that means initiating them yourself and seeing what happens or accepting invites, then you’re upping your chances of a real love connection since you’re saying to the universe, “Okay, I’m ready, bring it on.”

1. You’ll be more open-minded

The thing is that you’re absolutely not perfect (sorry to say it but hey, you already knew that) and so you can’t expect anyone else to be, either. Flaws and quirks are what make people interesting, and that’s a much healthier and more positive attitude to adopt when you’re dating. Instead of nitpicking and finding reasons not to see someone again, focus on what’s good about them and focus on getting more time with them  that’s in the cards for both of you. If you can go on more dates and make the effort, you’ll stop picking people apart and you’ll start actually seeing them for who they are and respecting it and maybe even liking it. And once that happens, who knows what is next for you?

2. You’ll feel less anxious

The first time you meet someone it can feel more like an audition to a future relationship because you talk about yourself so the other person gets a good picture of who you are. But the more you spend time with the person they will get to learn more about who you really are.

Without the tension and the nervous, insecure energy, you’re free to actually put your best self forward.

3. You are more present

When you first meet someone, your mind is literally everywhere else. You are so up in your own head that you don’t take a minute to just appreciate the moment(s) you are sharing with this person. So how can you ever say you gave it a fair shot. Another date is your first chance to show your date who you really are — without all those distractions.

4. You can have more serious conversations

Dates can sometimes feel a bit like job interviews. With the biographical Q&A out of the way, on the next date there’s more airtime to joke around and dig deep into the conversation. You might discover that you like them even more than you thought or (worse case scenario) it will become clear that you’re not a good match. Either way, the next date will usually tell you what you need to know.

5. The chemistry is building

On another date, you’ll be in better position to gauge the levels of chemistry. If you feel excited, giddy and maybe even a little bit anxious about when you will hear from them again or when your next date or contact will be, this is a sign you truly might like them. After the two of you meet for the first time,  you might feel like you have a bigger picture of the person and also as potential partner, and so if you do like them you might also at this stage feel like you want to be more tactile such as hand-holding, lip-locking stage which is completely normal and natural.

6. You Feel more confident

The thing is that when you see each o ther again,  even if it doesn’t end up in a super happily ever after type of place, you feel pretty good about yourself. Actually, you feel great. It makes you feel like your dating life isn’t so terrible after all and like it’s even possible to meet someone in this crazy dating world in this day and age. You feel like you’ve done something right,  Now you are like all those other people in the world  who enter a new relationship after getting to know each other slowly over time.

Sometimes love can be a slow burn and it’s better to have given each person the best chance to determine compatibility then to let potential partners pass you by due to the impatience that can grow from modern world of dating.

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