Austin Matchmaker


How Do You Know if They Are Flirting or Just Being Friendly?

When you meet someone now, how do youo know if they are flirting or just being friendly? It certainly can be confusing. My Clients tell me that trying to figure out whether a person has romantic feelings for you is one of the most frustrating things about dating.

What exactly is flirting? In general you behave as if you are sexually attracted to them, in a playful or not very serious way.  It shows if  we are interested in pursuing a deeper, more intimate relationship with. When you flirt, it’s the first step to taking action for your feelings rather than doing the hard part – confessing.

In order to tell the difference, all you have to do is read the signals right, and you’ll find out that this whole flirting and dating thing can be pretty simple. But confusing the two can get you in some hot water. For some people, flirting occurs as naturally as a friendly mode of communication. The key difference lies in the intention of the person.

Here are some ways you will know if they are flirting or just being friendly:

Clue #1 They are enthralled with you.

When someone is flirting with you, they will act like you are the most fascinating person they’ve ever met.  Even if you are talking about something boring, they will show strong interest and want to hear more  just to keep the conversation going! They will ask questions or make encouraging observations by saying things like, “That’s so intriguing, tell me more about that!” or “What happened next??”

Clue #2 They lock eyes with you.

When a person holds eye contact for just a few seconds longer than what seems natural for a particular conversation, there’s a good chance that he or she is flirting with you. Though someone may not be consciously trying to woo you with endless gazes, eye contact is a good indicator that someone finds you interesting and attractive.

Clue #3 They stand closer to you than normal.

Are they trying to get physically close to you? This is a huge sign of flirtation. If they aren’t coming close to you, they might just be being friendly.People typically try to get closer only to the people they like, so if someone is trying to increase their proximity to you, there’s a good chance they’re interested

Clue #4 They remember everything about you.

An easy way to tell the difference if they are flirting or being friendly is if the person retains information about you. So if you’ve been chatting for a while and they bring up something you mentioned an hour ago, they are definitely paying attention and want to hear more.

Clue #5 They let you know they are single.

To tell the difference between flirting and being friendly, they will always make a point to mention that they aren’t tied down. Whether they just come right out and say it, or they casually mention it, they want you to know that they are single. Why? DUH, because they are interested in you.

Clue #6 They try to make you laugh.

Laughter is not only a great way to lighten the mood, it’s a form of flirtatious behavior. People love to feel that what they have to say is entertaining and enjoyable. That’s why laughter is a sign of flirting.  It’s a clear sign the other person wants you to know that he or she finds you interesting and fun to be around!

Clue #7 They give you brief glances.

It’s not just prolonged eye contact that can give away someone’s romantic interest. According to Pamela Regan’s book “Close Relationships,” men, in particular, tend to direct many brief glances at the intended target of their flirtation. This might mean that you are constantly catching the eye of someone across the room.

Clue #8 They ask for your advice.

If someone’s always coming to you for advice on the smallest things like good restaurants or bars to try, they may be trying to flirt with you. Pay attention to what they say.If they casually say you two should go there together sometime, they may be asking you for a date.

Clue #9 They copy your body language.

If you are attracted to someone, it is natural to follow their body language. If the person is doing the same as you,  like gesturing, speech patterns,  sitting the same way as you do  (legs cross, shoulders back, hands on the table, etc) this is definitely flirting.

Clue #10 They tease you.

Just like when we were in grade school, if somebody makes fun of you, or chases you around the playground, it means they are into you. When someone is playfully teasing you, then this is a pretty big indication that that they are flirting with you, not just being friendly.

Clue #11 They give you light touches.

Are they trying to get physically close to you, or perhaps touching your shoulder/hand when chatting with you? This is a huge sign of flirtation. If they aren’t coming close to you, they might just be being friendly. If a woman gently taps you with her fingers, puts her hand on your arm, or gives you a little whack on the ribcage with her hand, she probably likes you.

Clue #12 They try to find common ground.

Whatever it is you have in common, a guy who likes you is going to use that as leverage in any conversation you have. This shared interest is our “in” to getting to know you better. So while a conversation may be initiated over your mutual love of Game of Thrones, things will get far more personal if he uses your shared interest wisely.

Clue #13 They give you compliments.

This is an obvious one, especially if he compliments your appearance. If someone is trying to flirt with you, one of the first things they will do is pay you a compliment. This is great because it offers the recipient an ego boost while letting them know they’re desired.

Clue #14 They say your name a lot.

Using someone’s name in conversation is a way to make them feel closer to you. If you keep hearing your name when you’re having a conversation with someone, he’s probably interested and trying to create a bond. This one of the ways you if they are flirting or just being friendly.

Clue #15 They act extra polite.

He offers to go to the bar to get you another drink just as you’re finishing one.  makes sure you get into a uber alright at the end of the night. Steers you away from that slightly drunk guy at the bar who’s hitting on every woman in sight. It’s not unusual for a man to be nice but if he’s going out of his way just to do things for you, he’s sending out flirty vibes.

Clue #16  They avoid distractions.

 If this guy or girl you’re talking to receives a phone call,  they will send it to voicemail.  Or if someone walks to this person you’re talking to, he will make the conversation very brief.  You are the center of his attention.

Flirting is an essential aspect of human interaction. It often opens a portal for intimate relationships between two people. Both men and women flirt, and many people find innocent flirting fun and satisfying. But you always ask  yourself how do you know if they are flirting or just being friendly.

If you are looking for love, an Austin Matchmaker can help you reach your relationship goals in a less confusing and more direct manner.

Want more dating advice from Julia? Subscribe to her you tube channel