Has anyone ever told you that in your romantic life you’re just too darn picky? Maybe you’ve been single for a long time or have recently emerged from a series of short-lived relationships. And yet, you’ve been wearing that ‘I’m-so-picky’ label a little too comfortably until now.
Or maybe no one has ever told you that in your romantic life you’re too selective. Still, people around you seem to have their partner situations on lockdown, and you find yourself in a series of near misses (or no misses at all) in your attempts to connect with someone special. We’re assuming here that you do want to connect with someone special and aren’t just embracing the single life because you’ve got some work to do on yourself or because you haven’t found anyone whom you’d like to couple up with.
1. You’ve been single for a long time.
If you are picky in romance, it is really obvious if you have been single for a long time, and it is also your choice to be single—I mean, evidently, you could be with someone, but you choose not to. It is very easy to tell oneself that one is single not by choice but because suitable romantic partners do not exist.
2. You believe in the one.
Do you think there is only a single individual meant for you? Only one individual with whom you could ever find lasting happiness? A perfect match who is just waiting for you to find them? If you believe this, you are too selective. You are seeking an unrealistic ideal, and an unrealistic ideal is what perfection is.
3. You’ve read too many fairy tales.
Having consumed every romantic tale and seen every love-struck character on film, you imagine that, one day, a lust-laden prince or princess will show up at your door, and it will all be as it should be with a mile-high pile of mush.
4. You have a one strike policy.
The moment a fresh romantic prospect steps even slightly awry, that’s it. They’re finished, and you’re off to the next potential mate. You don’t buy into forgiving and forgetting, which, let’s face it, is massively unrealistic.
5. You have a very set type.
You want a dark-haired, highly educated engineer who earns a certain salary. Or a hippy surfer type with their own quirky campervan. Or a super sporty type you can do triathlons with every weekend.
7. You let small things get in the way.
Similar to Bridget Jones, you fixate on seemingly inconsequential matters, such as how your partner folds their underpants, and allow those preferences to determine whether a relationship is worth pursuing.
If you break up over absolutely nothing, how can you have a deep relationship with someone? Seems to me a much more relevant question. Save the partner search for when you’re ready to really partner. Bridget has some work to do. We might too.
8. You’re a serial swiper.
You might be somewhat of an addict when it comes to dating apps. Knowing that there are more people just a swipe away is too tempting, so you keep swiping and dismissing the dates you go on. You have this impression that the grass is always greener on the other side, so you just can’t stick to any one person.
9. You aren’t fazed by breaking up with someone.
A huge warning sign that you are too selective in relationships is that you are so accustomed to breaking up with people you are romantically involved with that it doesn’t really faze you anymore when it happens.
10. You want someone that fits with your grand plan.
You hold a very firm notion of how the forthcoming several decades of your existence are going to unfold. You’ve determined what actions you’re going to be engaged in, and as a result, you also have a firm notion of who it is that you want as your partner in those actions.
11. You get scared when the spark fades.
Tend to break up with people after a few months when the honeymoon phase is over, and the initial spark begins to fade. Convince self that the fade means something’s wrong. Think that sooner or later, will find someone with whom the spark will never fade. Can’t accept that the fade of that initial thrill is an inevitable part of love and that it will be replaced by another kind of love that’s just as wonderful in a different way.
12. You’re not prepared to work through things.
You believe that the correct relationship should just be smooth sailing, so you’re not ready to exert any effort at all to make it work. If you’re wishing for a partner with whom you’ll never have a disagreement or run into problems, prepare to be let down.
The same principle goes for wit and charm. If someone is simply laugh-out-loud funny, that is a blessing. But if they can only be funny while they are in your face and annoying you, that’s a curse.
Are You Ready For Your Total Package?
Getting clear on the qualities you want is only one piece of the puzzle in attracting not just a date – but a mate for life. Something More has been in the relationship business for over 16 years. Let us find you your person! Why delay happiness?
