Austin Matchmaker


Warning Signs That He’s Confused

There are many warning signs that he’s confused. Typically it starts when a guy who was once very attentive and affectionate suddenly backs off and creates distance between the two of you.  You’re not a mind reader, but you’re also not blind. Taking note of someone’s actions and words tells us everything we need to know about their interest. If you’re worried that he is losing interest or is confused about his feelings for you – whether he’s your boyfriend, husband, partner, or maybe you guys only recently started dating – there are certain indicators that you can look out for. Some of these signs might appear obvious, but many very intelligent people miss them.

If you’re ready to create a long-term relationship or find yourself stuck in one that’s not progressing the way you want it to, these nine warning signs that he’s confused can help you make a better prediction about your future with the other person. And hopefully save you a ton of valuable time in the process.

1. He will have sex with you but won’t hold your hand.

If a guy wants you to be his girlfriend he won’t mind public displays of affection. He wants the world to know that you are his. For a guy sex doesn’t mean commitment. Stop sleeping with him If you notice that he treats you differently before sex than he does afterward. How he handles not getting what he wants will reveal his true intentions. That is a warning sign that he’s confused for sure.

2. He doesn’t take you on real dates

A sign of a man being confused about his feelings for you is that he’s happy to hang out with you at your place and won’t take you out in public.. So, if you’re always chilling at home and you’ve never headed out together, it’s a concern.

3. He has a wandering eye

A man who is into you never checks out other women when you are out together as a couple. If we’re obviously looking around at other women, we’re looking to upgrade. Get out while you can!  That is a warning sign that he’s confused and can’t be trusted.

4.He doesn’t talk about the future with you

When you are in a relationship, you plan your future together so that you can be with each other. One of  the warning signs that he’s confused is  if his future plans don’t include you, He obviously is excluding you.

5. He never does anything nice for you

If you’ve known each other for more than three months, and he’s never gone out of his way for you, it is warning sign that he’s confused and should make you wonder what his intentions are. When you are in a committed relationship, actively trying to please your partner is a given.

A man who likes you is a man who makes an effort for you.

6. You’re in a situationship

You’ve gone out for more than several dates and he still hasn’t said anything about making your relationship official or being exclusive. Is he hemming and hawing about actually calling you his girlfriend? Are you still engaged after three years? Has he been avoiding the topic of meeting his parents? If so, he might be mulling over whether or not he really wants to be with you.

7. Communication frequency fluctuates often

You guys used to text, call often and he wanted to always see you. But lately, there’s been a sudden slowdown in the communication between you t. Maybe there’s even been a couple of times when he said he’d call you the next day but then failed to do so. Maybe there’s even been times when he doesn’t reach out at all for days, and then suddenly wants to meet up.

If he’s avoiding calls and responding vaguely via texts, that’s an even bigger flag that something is up.

8. He acts ambivalent

Your partner does something that bothers you and you point it out to him. You have a conversation about why you don’t like it and what should happen instead. Your partner responds, “OK, I promise I’ll fix it” or “I promise I’ll try harder.” Then the same problem resurfaces two weeks later. The same conversation is had once more, and one month later, there it is again. If you can’t work through disagreements or discuss your relationship openly, it’s a sign he’s not ready for commitment. If all you get from him are vague or ambiguous answers, you have your answer..

9. His way or the highway

If the guy you’re dating isn’t really interested in you, he’ll make it clear by only making plans with you when it’s convenient for him. He wants to have you around to text and chat to when he’s bored or lonely but then he wants his single man lifestyle.  He wants to spend Saturday nights drinking with his buddies, and not have to worry about things like commitment. If you want to try to work things out with him, follow these tips:

1. Don’t freak out

All the tears in the world and begging and pleading will not make him commit to you. The last thing he wants when he is already confused about the two of you, is to have to calm you down!

When a man feels pressure to be in a relationship, he will always rebel against that pressure and fight for his freedom.

2. Don’t threaten him

By giving him ultimatums like saying you will break up with him if he doesn’t commit as manipulative You can’t control how he thinks, feels, or what he decides. What you can do is be patient, and present. Because if he is saying that he’s confused, the next step will be “I need space away from you.” And the next step is disappearing completely

3. Don’t take it personally

Sadly, most women see his lack of commitment as a reflection of them, they make it their problem. They think if only they did more for him, if only they were prettier, if only they could help him learn to trust again. The rationalize that if only they were a little more of this and a little less of that… everything would be different. It wouldn’t.

Here is what to do when your partner is giving you mixed messages:

1. Talk to him about how you’re feeling.

Be open and honest about what you’re looking for and give him the opportunity to do the same. If your intentions don’t align, it might be best to reevaluate what the relationship means to you. If his erratic behavior continues, it may be time to walk away. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, not someone who punishes you for his indecisions.

2. Keep yourself busy

While he’s trying to figure out his feelings for you, make sure to keep yourself busy and pay attention to your needs. Focus on your friends, family, self improvement, career and hobbies. Take up new activities whenever you can regardless of him. Don’t forget about self care. Stop hoping he will change and simply work on improving yourself for you and no one else.

3. Have a clear boundary

The bottom line is you eventually need to figure out if he wants to move forward with you. There comes a time when enough is enough, and it’s better to know the truth sooner than later where the heart is concerned. Most importantly: be radically honest with yourself, don’t make up excuses to justify behaviors you don’t agree with

So whether he’s hiding his feelings or simply not interested, a man who’s causing any confusion and making you wonder whether or not he likes you might not be worth your time. After all, a man who’s truly worth your time will put as much effort in with you as you do with him, clearly showing you his level of interest.

If he is having second thoughts concerning his feelings and the relationship in general, his attachment to you probably keeps him from making a decision. He may fear the possibility of regretting his choices, and not being able to get you back later on.

In conclusion, you should never be with a guy who has to think about whether or not he wants to be with you—he should automatically know that he does. ? And if you’re meant to be and if he’s the right one for you, he will come to his senses and he will get rid of all the confusion that’s preventing him from taking things to another level!

Letting go of a confused man within the first few months of dating is much easier than being left by a confused man after a few years of dating.

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