Austin Matchmaker


Rebound Relationships

Rebound relationships are ones that are based on some type of emotional need of usually one partner. Rebound relationships can help the person rebuild what was ripped into pieces and damaged after the breakup. Rebounds are, in a nutshell, a distraction from the pain you feel when you have just broken up with someone.

In a rebound relationship, the person may of endured a difficult split, and is seeking the comfort of a new lover to distracting themselves from the pain of the break up.  They also could be trying to convince themselves and even their ex that they are good enough to get into another relationship.

The main complication about rebound relationships is that when you are in one, you don’t inevitably know about it. One of the main reasons people don’t want to consider themselves in a rebound relationship is that it can make you feel used like you are their therapist.  Our egos can trick our common sense into believing their feelings are genuine when in fact they are not.

How do you know if you’re someone else’s rebound?

1. They don’t ask you many questions; don’t seem interested in getting to know you properly.

They don’t seem to take much time to get to know you.

2. They talk about their ex.

They keep making excuses to talk about their ex; they’ll drop their ex’s name into the conversation often. For example, you tell them you don’t like soccer, and they respond by saying their ex loved soccer, etc.

3. Change in behavior in front of the ex

They seem to show you more affection in front of their ex or their ex’s friends, or they show you none at all.

4. They declare their love for you very quickly.

Obviously this one does depend on the person, some of us fall in love pretty quickly. However you can usually tell if you’re in a rebound relationship when they declare their love for you after only a few weeks of being together. They constantly discuss your future together, etc.

People do this when they’re on the rebound because they don’t want to feel like they’re going to be on their own in the near future. The main trait of someone on the rebound is being needy.  By prematurely discussing your future together, they want to confirm you are committed and won’t betray them like their ex did.

What to do if you suspect a rebound relationship:

The best thing to do is to avoid getting into a relationship with someone who just came out of a bad relationship. People need time to heal on their own and jumping into another

So now you know the basic tips of knowing when you’re in a rebound relationship, but you also need to know what to do if you think you’re in one.

Find out how long ago your partner was with their ex.

There are no clear guidelines on how quickly your partner will completely get over their ex.   We all react to break ups differently from others. Some of us get over break ups quickly whereas some of us can take months and sometimes even years.

If your  partner still talks to his ex on a daily basis or about their ex, there may be cause for concern. Does your partner still have photos of their ex around their home? Do they meet up with their ex regularly? The problem with this is some relationships may end badly but then the two become good friends, it can cause jealousy.

It’s hard to find out whether you’re in a rebound relationship, and sometimes we don’t even want to really know. We’d prefer to believe that we are in a stable relationship. Finding out, however, is important because you could be the one who gets hurt the most. Remember, you are being used for someone else’s emotional needs. As soon as they get over their ex, they may not want to be with you.