As a professional matchmaker, I often get asked if these online dating sites can determine compatibility. Here are my thoughts: For one thing, no one on eHarmony or any other site verifies the truth of a person’s answers to their compatibility questionnaires. Some people are clueless about themselves, their motivations, and their goals in life. They may honestly answer a question one way, but the answer they give may bear no relation to reality. Other people will deliberately lie or distort the truth to be perceived as more desirable than their true nature. The end justifies the means, in their mind.
A common problem is that the same word or concept can mean totally different things to different people. One person may think he has a great sense of humor but comes across as too sarcastic to others. A woman may she wants someone ambitious and the man may interpret that as simply making a good living not trying to be partner in a law firm.
Even if everyone answered questions on online dating sites honestly, the only prediction anyone could confidently make about two people is that they match up well on paper.
They both want kids., love animals, watching reality TV shows and believe in sharing household chores. OK, fine; that’s a start. But that’s all it is. Interests, attitudes, and goals may be important, but they don’t automatically guarantee chemistry. And without chemistry, all the “on paper” compatibility in the world is meaningless. This is why I urge people who are doing online dating to actually meet the other person as soon as it’s clear there’s a strong interest. You can learn more about someone in five minutes face-to-face than you could in five weeks, or five months, of e-mail exchanges.
Want more dating advice? Read on to find out the physical and emotional benefits of being in love.