Do April showers bring May flowers? The rhyme or saying originated from a short poem written by Thomas Tusser in 1557. The meaning behind is that even the most unpleasant circumstances can bring enjoyable things. This saying is an excellent metaphor for how to endure storms in a relationship.
Every couple experiences bumps in their relationship at some point; in fact, coming across the occasional roadblock is a normal aspect of intimacy. When your relationship experiences a blip, it might be a signal that connection or acceptance in the partnership is missing in a certain situation.
The first step is to identify the root cause of the rough patch before you and your partner can overcome the barriers and return to appreciating the qualities that brought you together in the beginning.
Here are 4 strategies to help you persevere those inevitable tough times.
1. Quit Expecting a fairy tale.
A common barrier in relationships is the expectation that you and your partner should be living a fairy tale romance. Realistically, when a relationship gets past the infatuation phase, flaws become apparent. Accepting your partner’s idiosyncrasies is an important part of gaining intimacy. If one person in a relationship has vastly differing views on life or what they want in the future, it can pose a significant deal breaker. If you suddenly become bothered by the way your partner chews food, for instance, it’s likely a defense against intimacy.
2. Accepting Peaks and Valleys
No relationship is smooth all the time. April showers bring May flowers.
Accept the ups and downs as a part of life and look for opportunities to strengthen your relationship; relationships require maintenance and effort.
If you are feeling disconnected from your partner, communicate openly and explain how you feel. Communication is more effective if you are able to speak calmly and express your feelings honestly. Try not to make accusations or focus on your partner’s faults. Placing blame won’t help overcome the bumps, but communication can lead to increased support and connection in the relationship.
3. Mountains or Molehills?
Couples who spend a lot of time together are bound to run into conflicts. When a conflict arises, ask yourself whether it’s something that needs serious attention. For example, if you are continually upset about sharing household responsibilities, you must address the issue. Remember the old adage, “don’t sweat the small stuff,” in overcoming bumps in your relationship.
4. Focus on Strengths
When there’s a bump in the relationship, look back on what brought you together in the first place. Whether it’s shared interests, good chemistry or a sense of humor, focus on the qualities that initially drew you to your partner.
While the initial passion may subside over time, examine whether your quality of life is better with your partner in it.
If it is, then being emotionally invested in the relationship will strengthen your bond. Working through conflicts will only serve to deepen the connection in the relationship. According to relationship experts at The Couples Center in San Francisco, acquiring flexibility and heightened awareness enables you to navigate through the bumps and currents underneath the surface of your relationship.