One topic that people seem to ask me to talk about over and over again is the issue of “the friend zone.” People always want to know how to avoid getting into the friend zone (especially when they are out on a date). Just asking the question means that you need to take a good look at your mindset. Think about the question: “How do I avoid the friend zone when I am out on a date?” …
When you’re out on a date with a woman, she doesn’t start out thinking of you as a friend. The fact that you have this concern, however, shows that you are going into your dates with the energy of being a friend. This means that you are playing it safe. It means that you are really not expressing your desires, feelings and emotions. You are basically in your head during the entire date, just being a “good guy” and probably agreeing with everything she says.
By playing it safe, though, you get exactly what you fear the most. You get put in the friend zone.
The most important thing to remember is that when you’re out on a date it’s all about your mindset and how you interact with the woman. Acting nervous will never create any type of sexual attraction because women will see that you are in your own head. When you’re totally in your own head, you can’t get into her heart.
Here is a great exercise to do to learn how to tap into your emotions. Get a friend and tell them how you feel about them. Describe what it feels like to be friends with them, and what it’s like from your perspective. Then imagine what it feels like to be friends with yourself. Describe what it feels like to really reach deep inside yourself and see who YOU really are. Doing this enables you to see what your prospective date sees, from a fresh perspective. Look, she’s going on this date for the same reasons you are – to find out more about you, to enjoy herself, and maybe establish a connection.
If you take the time to think about what qualities you display to your friends that make you a good friend, you’ll be more aware of them and she’ll instantly pick up on them.
It is no different to connect with someone of the opposite sex. It takes being present. It takes enjoying yourself in the moment. It takes letting go.
If you do all of those things, you won’t be in the friend zone. You’ll be in the lover zone.