There are many reasons why you shouldn’t have a type. A type is an idea in their mind about the type of person they like to date. Maybe he likes artsy girls, or petite brunettes. Maybe she likes macho outdoorsy guys, or “tall, dark, and handsome” guys. It’s natural to be attracted to somebody who closely aligns with your hobbies and interests, and/or who fits the type of physical description you like. However, we often forget that having the same hobbies isn’t always the key to a successful relationship, and just because someone looks a certain way does not mean that they are the right person for you in a relationship. Here are the top five reasons why you shouldn’t have a type.
1) Dating a type is limiting
If you have a type, you’re limiting yourself on potentially great partners for you. With so many single people in Austin, it’s way better to keep your mind open and stay flexible, because people can surprise you. Remember that compatibility on paper doesn’t equal compatibility in real life. A recent 2019 study published in the Journal of Research in Personality concluded that personality similarities are not the be-all or end-all of compatibility. Seeking a matchmaker expands your dating pool – at Try Something More, we have a wide network of all types of people, and we open up client’s minds for the better more often than you may realize. Some of our clients are now in happy, loving relationships with people they otherwise wouldn’t have seeked out on their own.
2) You’re prematurely judging someone
Many people judge others superficially on their hobbies, interests, political beliefs, appearance, and other factors – even subconsciously. We often assume that because a person falls into a certain category, that means they are “x” type of person. And in today’s app and online dating world where the information provided by a potential match can be sparse, you may be missing out on meeting someone truly great by evaluating them under such rigid standards. The truth is, we all need to work on seeing the world in other people in the full spectrum of color, rather than black and white categories. Even if you two disagree on certain things, or have differing interests, you can absolutely still have a successful relationship. When you seek the help of a matchmaker, we try to suspend any superficial judgments and focus on growth and an open mind. This is part of why you shouldn’t have a type.
3) It breaks you out of unhealthy relationship patterns
Another thing many people have struggled with is continuously dating the same type of person, thus continuously dealing with the same relationship problems and toxic patterns – often without even realizing it. If you are a smart dater, you shouldn’t have a type. This can also be tied to psychological trauma; for example, people who grew up with an emotionally unavailable parent may find themselves seeking emotional unavailable dating partners, without realizing it. It’s important to heal and break the cycle, and challenge your previous patterns by trying new approaches. Remember that the “comfort zone” is the enemy to growth. What’s comfortable and familiar isn’t necessarily what is good for you in the long term. At Something More matchmaking, our goal is to help single people in Austin break free from negative patterns and enter a new world of real love.
4) You’ll challenge your comfort zone
Like we said, the comfort zone can easily become the “discomfort zone” for single people in the dating world. While scanning online profiles for a specific “look” has become a quick way to navigate through thousands of options, says Julie Ingenohl, a Connecticut-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, “when we consistently opt for looks first, we miss out on the big picture. Who is this person? What are their strengths as a human being? What kind of heart do they have? Will they treat me right?” When you seek the help of a matchmaker, it’s all about deleting the dating apps and getting out of your comfort zone. Someone who may not look like your type in photos may end up completely “wow”-ing you in person with their amazing personality, which is a huge factor in attractiveness. A great sense of humor and magnetizing charisma can make a person a million times more attractive to you, and is ultimately much more valuable than what you see at face value.
5) You may not know who’s “right” for you
It’s true: Your type may actually be wrong for you. While you may be looking to meet someone who shares all of your interests, has a similar background, and/or is just like you, it’s important to keep an open mind and shouldn’t have a type. One could argue that based on the recent research, that you can have stability in your relationship and have productive discussions regardless of personality differences if you’re conscientious and agreeable. Ultimately, it boils down to which personality traits you value the most in yourself and your partner, how you communicate, and how you work together as a team — not necessarily how similar you are overall. It’s all about growing together and working together, as well as being able to stay flexible and make compromises.