Behind every affair is a trail of tell-tale signs that make you think he might be cheating. Often times, though, these signs are subtle and are only detected in hindsight, after the affair comes to light. We all think we know the signs that he’s cheating, whether it be through sketchy phone calls, increased focus on appearance, or late hours at work. However some men are able to commit infidelity without any of the “normal” signs we are accustomed to. How are we to spot a cheater when we don’t know what to look for? So if your affair radar is up because your partner’s behavior just feels off or out of the ordinary — here are 10 counter intuitive signs you may be overlooking.
1. You get along better than ever
Because he is no longer committed to your relationship anymore, nothing bothers him. Perfection or a complete lack of friction is unnatural in a relationship. If you suddenly feel like you are living in a fairy tale, it might be time to ask some questions.
2. He is more helpful
He spends more time helping look after the children than he typically does. He may even start doing more around the house, or checking jobs off the honey lists that have been left unfinished for months. He is more than happy to do the grocery shopping, go to the dry cleaner, and do the banking, plus this gives him alone time to talk with his paramour.
3. He showers you with compliments
Another reverse psychology move a cheating man does is to be overly complimentary of you. And while this extra praise, attention, and admiration may make you feel incredible, too much of it should raise a red flag. So in reality, by attempting to make you feel good with his constant praise, he’s actually trying to make himself feel less bad about his actions.
4. The Sex is better
In a case of infidelity, believe it or not, your partner may start an increasing of sexual activity and even do things that have never before had occurred and that he probably learned from the other woman. This is typically hard to see as a possible indicator because most people don’t think their partner will increase affection if they’re cheating.
5. He’s always in a good mood
It’s always heartwarming to see the person you love feel happy, but it can be a little suspicious if his mood skyrockets for absolutely no reason. But sometimes, the reason he’s suddenly acting like the world is his oyster, is because the needs that weren’t being met in the relationship are being met elsewhere.
6. He dotes on you more
This is a common diversion tactic that a lot of cheaters will use on the people they are in relationships with. They will seemingly put their interest in their partners on overdrive. They will act OVERLY interested and invested in their relationships as a way of covering up all the deceit and betrayal that is taking place behind the scenes.
7. He never complains about your girls nights outs
He’s never suggested it before and suddenly he’s practically pulling out the pom-poms and cheering you on to get away with your girlfriends for the weekend or go spend some time with that long, lost friend on the other side of the country.
8. He surprises you with random gifts
A “just because” spa gift card or new purse—completely unrelated to a birthday, anniversary, or work promotion—could be a clue that your partner is feeling guilty about something and trying to compensate. Even though he’s never been much of a romantic before, he suddenly surprises you with a dozen red roses or a sparkly new ring. He showers you with gifts but he won’t be able to explain why he’s doing it.
9. He starts missing you more
If they want to know where you’re going, how long you’ll be gone, when you’re coming back, etc. it could be a cheating sign. What they may actually be doing is checking your whereabouts to make sure you are not somewhere that you can catch them,.
10. He is more thoughtful about cell phone use
A not so well known cheater’s move is to set his cell phone to airplane mode, which turns off Wi-Fi and cellular connection. That means no incoming calls or text messages. By setting his cell phone to airplane mode, he is making sure that no phone calls or text messages show up on his screen while your eyes are on his phone. Ask yourself the question, why would someone have their phone on silent 100% of the time unless they were in a meeting, the movies, or could it be they had something to hide?
Unfortunately, anyone is capable of cheating. There’s really no one way to know for sure whether or not your partner is cheating unless you actually catch them doing it. Everyone should be able to trust their partner. But if you suspect that something is up, be sure to watch out for those obvious and less than obvious signs that your partner may be unfaithful, and speak to them about it.
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Julia McCurley is a Professional Matchmaker and founder of Something More, Austin’s premier personalized matchmaking service for elite singles. She has been featured on many media outlets such as Fox, NBC, ABC and CBS affiliates as well as many prominent publications seeking her expertise and relationship advice. She is a Huffington Post blogger and has had her blogs featured on other sites such as Digital Romance, She Knows, Emlovz and The Good Men Project. She has been creating happy couples since 2099.